How To Stop Comparing Yourself With Other Girls
Posted on June 22 2017
This article is all about how to appreciate someone else's beauty without questioning your own.
I know I'm supposed to appreciate myself and not worry about others but I can’t help but feel insecure from time to time when I’m surrounded by pretty girls.
And why is that? I’m confident, I like myself and know I have amazing things to offer.
But what is it about another person that makes me question my own beauty? And if you’re sitting there saying “omg don’t worry about anyone else” it’s not like I lose sleep over it but the thought does creep in from time to time.
I can see it with other girls as well, little backwards comments for no reason other than they feel threatened. And after having a discussion with a couple friends, I know I’m not alone.
I started thinking of this after I was walking in the city in a rather posh neighborhood and along comes this pretty girl walking towards me with her boyfriend. I instantly felt a little uneasy.
Does this person's beauty take away from my own? No. If she wasn’t there would I have still feel self-conscious? Probably not. So why do we care? Why do we feel self-conscious or competitive?
And the absurdity of this interaction was that we both were looking at each other. I wasn’t thinking anything negative about this girl, quite the opposite. I was actually thinking about how much I liked her tall Stuart Weitzman black suede thigh-high boots. And I could tell she was looking at my freshly unwrapped Special Edition Kate Spade Spring Purse.
This started my journey of getting to the bottom of this feeling and using practices to get rid of these ridiculous thoughts.
Here are some easy ways to take the pressure off and stop comparing yourself to other girls.
Be Aware Of Your Thoughts And How You View Yourself
I’m a big supporter of finding the root of the problem, not the problem itself. Pay attention to those thoughts when they pop up. Is it at a particular time of year, is it a certain type of girl, is it when you are looking less than perfect?
Try to make note of when you get these negative thoughts, and more importantly, how you self-talk and self-view when you get them. In one of my other post: 12 Ways To Be More Confident, I talk about positive self-affirmations and getting rid of negative self-talk.
You have nothing to gain from comparing yourself to others.
They're literally living their life not thinking of you what so ever and you’re sitting here thinking about them to the point that you feel bad about yourself. Is this really worth your time?
Know Where You’re At
I’m an Instagram queen and I take that stuff really seriously. But I have started to compare myself to others that are further in their career. I always say, “It will take me 10 years to be an overnight success, which is true for the people I follow. You can’t compare yourself to someone that has been at something for 5 years and you’re sitting here at month 2 and expecting the same result.
If you're going to be looking at other girls amazing videos or posts and comparing how crap yours are, do yourself a favour and go watch their first video. Check out their first blog post or insta pics. See where they came from and where they are now, after years of writing for no one.
Worrying about another person's success is ridiculous. You should be happy for them. Women supporting women is one of the most beautiful actions you can do. That person works hard at what they do, they make sacrifices, they’re showing others that through hard work and perseverance, an amazing result has formed. You will do this too, at your own pace.
A Compliment Goes A Long Way.
Have you ever been in a room with a bunch of girls that you don’t know and complement one?
It’s an instant mood maker and conversation starter.
The next time you're feeling self-conscious because of someone else, compliment them. It completely takes the edge off and you'll instantly have a new alliance in the girl world. Plus, it will have you asking yourself, “What was I so worried about?”.
Try something a little deeper than “You’re so pretty” or “I love your hair”. If they have bomb hair, they probably know that before you tell them.
Try a compliment that will open a conversation AND say something about yourself:
“I really like your jeans, I have been looking for a while for nice quality jean. What are your favourite stores to shop?”
“I really like your shoes, I am addicted to buying shoes and ______.”
Keep A Positive Self Journal
You may think it would be weird to keep a journal to depict all the things you love about yourself but I’m going to explain why it’s not.
I want you to try something right now.
- Think about your day today (If it’s close to the end) or yesterday (If you're just starting).
- Think about how many times you had a negative thought about yourself?
- Count them.
Now, think of when you thought positively about yourself. Not by comparing yourself to another or by having someone tell you something positive about yourself but just an independent positive self-thought.
Count them and compare.
Keeping a journal is a reminder of those positive thoughts or retraining your esteem for positive affirmations. As said in this video, I like to write positive things on my mirror and read them each day.
I'm always open for self-improvement. If you’re feeling self-conscious and comparing yourself to someone with a huge knowledge base, read the paper every day, set reading goals, watch more nature channel. Focus your thoughts on what you're good at.
Find the things you’re self-conscious of and come up with a set or achievable goals and plan to be better at it.
Realizing Your Ideal Self Is Unrealistic
I feel like we all put a lot of pressure on ourselves, too much actually. Maybe it’s time to let go of those unrealistic self-expectations.
It’s like setting an unachievable goal for yourself and then being unhappy that you didn’t reach it. Don’t set yourself up for failure.
Just remember you are an amazing, strong, powerful girl with so much to offer. Support your fellow girl. We are a team in this world.
Thank you for reading and subscribing! Please comment below any thoughts or tricks you use!